


Five Times Percy Jackson Accidentally Made the Plumbing Explode

by Legacy_of_Hecate



Series: Stupidly Dangerous Life [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Betaed, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Camp Jupiter (Percy Jackson), Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, My First AO3 Post, No Plot/Plotless, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28278435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legacy_of_Hecate/pseuds/Legacy_of_Hecate
Summary: Slight Percabeth and Tratie and beta read by LadyHW; originally on FF.net.) We all know that Percy has made the plumbing explode, but he has on more than one occasion. This one shot depicts the stupidest of them.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Paul Blofis/Sally Jackson, Percy Jackson & The Seven
Series: Stupidly Dangerous Life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071533
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Five Times Percy Jackson Accidentally Made the Plumbing Explode

**Author's Note:**

> This is just an excuse for me to make stupid one shots. Also, first story on ao3. Yay...

1.

The first time Percy made the plumbing explode, aside from the time when he was 12, was when he was fourteen, after his third quest.

He was just minding his own business, happier than usual because Annabeth was back and safe at camp. As safe as a demigod could be, that is. It was a good day, if you pushed aside the fact that Percy had, to no one's surprise, had landed himself in detention and was just yelled at by Annabeth. But not even that could bring down his happiness. At least she was there in the first place, and not almost dying. Percy preferred it that way.

He was walking through camp when he passed by the Hermes cabin, which was under construction for repairs because somebody decided it was a good idea to prank the Ares cabin while they were training. He stopped, though, when he heard a bunch of creepy noises inside the cabin. Just a bit of context, the Hermes kids and the unclaimed children were temporarily staying in the Big House since Chiron said it wasn't safe for them to be in the cabin while it was being repaired. So, the only noise that should've been heard from inside the cabin were sounds of construction work, and Athena's kids directing everyone to where they should be. But everyone was supposed to be at lunch.

Obviously, Percy had written it off as a simple trick of the mind, or ears in this case, and was fully content on heading past the cabin to feed Blackjack some sugar cubes. But as he started forward again, the noises got louder. It sounded like someone was screaming, with some maniacal laughter added into it.

Percy, being the good and caring person he was (and is), decided to check it out. And what did he find? A brutal scene: blood lining the walls, a simple cot in the middle of the room with the unmistakable body of Travis Stoll (or maybe it was Connor, you can't ever tell with those two.) laying on it. Standing over the unconscious boy was a bulky girl, possibly Clarisse or another Ares kid. She held sharp, dangerous looking tools covered in red liquid, a terrifying smile on her face.

Percy didn't know what to do. Maybe the Ares kids finally snapped, and took their anger at being pranked out onto the Hermes kids. Or the Hermes kids did something so incredibly and utterly stupid that the Ares cabin needed to get their revenge. Both of those seemed possible.

Percy felt the hairs on his neck stand on end as the girl took notice of him. Most of her face was hidden in the shadows, so he couldn't tell who it was. He put his hand to his pocket and felt for Riptide, creeping backwards to the door. He had to go get someone, anyone, to help. He felt two cold hands on his shoulders, and the word 'Boo' was whispered in his ear.

Not only did Percy jump seven feet into the air, but he also accidentally burst the pipes. The lights turned on, revealing the amused face of Connor Stoll behind him, and the not-so-amused face of Clarisse La Rue in front of him.

"That," said Travis, sitting up from where he'd been playing dead on the cot, "was hilarious. Good idea, Connor."

Connor took a bow. "Thank you, brother. I believe this was some of my best work."

Clarisse rolled her eyes. "No, idiots. I came up with the idea to prank Prissy. You two just took the credit."

Travis and Connor looked shocked, and Connor put a hand to his heart in mock pain. "I am wounded. Travis, I came up with this magnificent masterpiece, Clarisse is just jealous."

Clarisse scoffed and crossed her arms. "As if I'd ever be jealous of you two knuckleheads."

The argument continued as Percy recovered from the scare. He was about to get mad at them, but paused when he felt the water leaking out of the pipes. Half wondering if Annabeth would be mad at the delay in construction, he closed his eyes and concentrated.

"-and then I told Travis, 'Hey, I just had a great'- Wait, what's Percy doing?" said Connor nervously. Clarisse paled slightly, remembering the time she'd been drenched in toilet water.

Percy opened his eyes and smiled, watching as water began to pool on the floor. He tried to do as little damage to the cabin as possible when he completely soaked the three shrieking campers.

2.

The second time was when Percy, who was fifteen, was spending Christmas with his loving mother before his impending doom.

He had just got back from his quest in the Labyrinth and was in desperate need of comfort only his mother could give (along with Annabeth, but Percy's brain would hurt whenever he thought about his relationship/friendship with her). Of course, Sally Jackson was more than happy to spend time with her son.

Sally and Percy sat at the dining room table, alone, eating delicious blue pancakes, the pancakes because of Percy's request. Paul wouldn't be home for another thirty minutes, so Percy and Sally could just relax and not worry about when Percy would almost die again.

Sally had told her son all about her book she was writing, and her eyes lit up whenever she talked about it, or Paul, which was a hot topic. Percy just smiled and nodded along, heart bursting with the joy at the thought, and reality, of his mother finally being happy.

Monsters just had to ruin it.

"Oh, Percy," Sally was saying. "Paul got me this wonderful box of chocolates for Valentine's Day months ago. You should've seen it! Each of the chocolates had beautiful carvings on them, and-"

Sally didn't get to finish her sentence as a loud bang interrupted her. They both froze, Percy pulling out Riptide, ready to push the cap off in an instant if needed.

Sally bit her lip and offered Percy a smile. "Maybe it was just Paul."

"Maybe..."

But they both knew it wasn't Paul. Sally hurriedly got up and looked out the back window. She turned to Percy a moment later with a worried expression on her face.

"Two hellhounds," she had said. "Coming up the fire escape. Also, I think, though I could be wrong, Paul just pulled in. I'll keep him distracted while you fight them off."

Percy nodded and quickly got up to take on the hellhounds. He hated killing them, he had ever since he'd gotten to know Mrs. O'Leary.

He strode quickly over to the window and peered down the rickety metal staircase, where he immediately saw two giant black dogs making their way up. He opened the window silently, cringing when it squeaked, and climbed out onto the small platform.

The hellhounds looked up from the stairs about two apartments below him and growled, struggling to move faster on the narrow stairs. Percy uncapped Riptide and waited for them to come to him.

One of them knocked the other aside and bounded as fast as it could towards Percy, getting partially stuck between the railings for a moment. It reached the fire escape platform where he was standing and leaped at him in a giant mass of teeth and claws.

Percy attacked it, slashing and stabbing as fast as he could in the small space. He managed to kill the first one, just as the second one reached his floor. Somehow, the hellhound pushed him back into the apartment, and Sally was just walking in with Paul.

What awful luck.

She and Paul froze as they watched Percy fight, too stunned to do anything. Sally recovered and tried to get Paul out, but he wouldn't budge.

The hellhound was on the fire escape platform, and Percy was inside the apartment, fighting through the open window. Frustrated that it wouldn't just die already, he yelled angrily. Water exploded from underneath the sink, drenching and surprising Paul, Sally, and the hellhound. The big black dog paused for a moment, and Percy drove his sword into its chest, killing it.

He stood in the center of the room, completely dry, in front of his mom and Paul. Sally, thankfully, started to speak.

"Paul," she sighed, "there's something I need to tell you."

3.

Percy would never forget the moment he drenched his girlfriend in toilet water. Again.

He and Annabeth had started dating a month ago, and they were happy. Percy had brought Annabeth a coral ring to add onto her camp necklace, and she wore it everywhere. The Aphrodite kids, who had nothing better to do, planned dates for them and took bunches of pictures.

Percy just really wished they hadn't taken the last one.

They were on another one of the Aphrodite kids' approved dates, enjoying the dinner and teasing each other, fighting over the simplest of things. Percy had laughed so much that night, but he was not happy when the night ended.

They walked back to the cabins, hand in hand, when they stopped by the bathrooms. Katie was yelling at Travis and Connor for cutting the tall, decorative bushes by the Demeter cabin to look like themselves. She looked up as Annabeth and Percy walked past, relieved.

"Annabeth," Katie starts, pointing an accusing finger at the Stolls, "these imbeciles pranked my cabin! Those bushes will take us weeks to fix!"

Annabeth put her hands up. "I'm aware. Cassie has complained about it to me. Multiple times, actually." She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her grey eyes. "Did you ask the Stolls to help you fix them?"

Katie's face brightened. "Great idea."

The Stolls turned pale and gulped as she grinned maniacally at them. "Uh," Travis starts, trying to get further away from the crazy girl as possible, "our cabin all participated in it, so..."

Katie's face darkened again. "Don't push the blame onto others, Travis." Travis inched away from her withering gaze.

Connor gulped again. "Travis, calm your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend!'

"I'm not his girlfriend!"

Connor looked relieved at the change of topics and put on a smirk. "Oh, sure..."

"Connor!" Katie and Travis responded, with light pink dusting their faces.

Connor wiggled his eyebrows. "Oh, hush. The whole camp thinks you guys are adorable. The Aphrodite cabin has already placed bets-"

"ENOUGH!"

That shut them up before a fight could break out. Well, the commanding voice of the son of Poseidon and the cold toilet water drenching them from head to toe. Annabeth was not spared.

Percy could feel the anger rolling off Annabeth, and thought that it was best if he ran.

So he did.

4.

Percy could not stop laughing.

He was at Camp Jupiter, with no memory whatsoever, and laughing at the stupidest of stories in the Roman bathhouse.

"I know right?" A guy named Olly said. "My first attempt at combat training with the eagles landed me straight onto a faun. So stupid."

Percy nodded, agreeing. Olly, who was a part of the third cohort, had lots of stories to tell and, according to the cohorts, he just kept getting more.

"One more!" some guy yelled at Olly, chuckling.

Others nodded in agreement, and Olly sighed good-naturedly. "Okay, okay. So, this last one was about two years ago. I was in a forest at night-"

"Stupid move!" another guy yells.

Olly laughed. "Yeah, it was. So, anyway, this forest was said to be haunted, and even the bravest people wouldn't go near it; said it was cursed."

"That should've been your cue to never go near it. Ever," Percy pointed out.

Olly rolled his eyes. "Okay, yeah, it was stupid. Can we not have interruptions every sentence? No? Good. I went into the forest, like an idiot, I know. No need to remind me. I heard a few sounds, but one in particular was almost enough to make me head home and cry for my ma."

Laughter filled the bath house. Olly sighed. "You would have, too. Besides, I said almost. I didn't, I followed the sound. It sounded like a squeal, a very high pitched squeal, if that makes sense. It sounded human, but not fully human.

"So, get this, I follow the sound, and what do I find two minutes later? A dude dressed in a chicken costume singing Opera."

Percy laughed with everyone else. Olly described exactly what the chicken man looked liked and Percy laughed again. He couldn't catch his breath, and neither could anyone else. The water spewing from the cracks in the walls and into everyone's faces probably didn't help.

Percy realized that he had broken a few of the pipes, and that Reyna was going to kill him. He quickly shut it off and started to fix it as best he could.

The guys looked at him, incredulous.

Percy rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well," he starts awkwardly, "at least you have another story to tell."

5.

The plumbing on the Argo II was spontaneously destroyed more than once. Not all of them were Percy's fault, just most of them. This time was no exception.

On the flying ship, each of the seven had their own chores. One day, cleaning duty just happened to fall on Percy and Annabeth's shoulders. Coach Hedge had warned them no funny business, and Percy and Annabeth had responded by walking off.

Cleaning was easy for Percy, he just had to move the water where he wanted it to go. Easy as pie, except for one thing. Annabeth was there, and she kept distracting him by talking about architecture. Sure, Percy didn't normally understand exactly what she said, but he tried, and what he did understand was interesting. But he didn't tell her that.

So, when she started talking, he threw in a few comments and snide remarks, and soon they were glaring at each other. Sometimes, it was hard to tell if it was playful or not. This time it was not, in fact, playful.

"Percy," Annabeth said, frustrated. "The St. Louis arch does not look like a giant hand bag."

Percy snorted. "It does. I should know."

Annabeth threw down her mop. "The arch is an architectural masterpiece! Not something you find in a cheap store!"

Percy sighed. "Seriously, you can't look at the arch and not think it was created by, I don't know, Gucci, or something. "

"Of course you don't know," Annabeth said exasperatedly. "Why do I even bother trying?"

As she picked up her mop, she realized that water was falling from the ceiling and walls. Annabeth looked up, surprised as a drop landed on her forehead. She turned to Percy accusingly.

Percy shrugged sheepishly. "Oops?"

The seven, who'd heard the plumbing explode, headed downstairs to check the damage. They stood in the doorway of the bathroom, not surprised in the slightest.

Leo, who was not happy that his favorite invention kept getting messed up, threw down his wrench and yelled angrily. "Again?! This is the third time this week I've had to fix the plumbing! Stop it!"

**Author's Note:**

> Any suggestions for future one shots would be greatly appreciated. This is the first one shot for my series of them.


End file.
